A.C.’s Journal: Entry 9

Writer’s dilemma: getting the wording just right. Sometimes it can take days to decide, with the options whirling in my head as I continue writing other scenes.

I’m sitting here debating these wordings for a particular scene:

“A large, brightly wrapped package was on the table along with a couple of smaller packages and a cake with nine lit candles flickering slightly as the girl approached it.”

versus

“A large, brightly wrapped package was on the table along with a couple of smaller packages and a cake with nine blazing candles, their light making the girl’s eyes sparkle as she approached it.”

But I think this is best:

“A large, brightly wrapped package was on the table along with a couple of smaller packages and a cake with nine lit candles on it. Their flames flickered a little as the girl stepped toward the table, and their light made her eyes sparkle.”

Sound good?

Either way, I now have a sudden craving for cake. Mmm!

The challenges of writing never end.

Hope you’re meeting your challenges well. And thanks for stopping by!

See you also on MeWe and Twitter.

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